Connections

Like you, perhaps, I am turned on by connecting. I enjoy the feeling that comes with connection - positive connection, that is. (There's probably a kind of connection that occurs in negative interactions, but that's not my style nor is it the feeling I enjoy...!) Today I experienced connection with strangers on Twitter and Facebook. I later learned that one of my not-personally-known-to-me "Facebook Friends" is actually registered for an upcoming Intimacy Retreat - so he won't remain a stranger much longer! It seems odd to write the word stranger... People we don't know "follow" us and "friend" us. No one is really a stranger, once that contact has been made.

Also on Facebook, there are connections with "real" friends, i.e., people with whom I have a relationship in "real" life. It was via Facebook that I heard about one such friend's emergency room experience last night. It was via Facebook that I learned of the death of one of the drummers from the Siesta Key Drum Circle. (It was on MySpace that I found his photo and memorable words to share at his memorial.)

Pulling myself away from the computer, I went to meet some local friends, a salon-style gathering where the topic was creativity. Instead of "commenting" online, we spoke and commented in each other's presence. This kind of face-to-face connection is vital and must not be allowed to be crowded out by all the virtual connections that keep us so busy.

And then, of course, there's the connection I share with my beloved, my husband, my lover. Entering into the sacred space of our love, together, our connection opens us up to a connection with All That Is.

In some sense, if you're reading this, we too are sharing a connection. Can you feel it?

Intimacy is Just a Shift Away

September is here. There's been a shift from summer vacation to the start of school. Here in Florida, although it's still hot, the shift is noticeable: summer visitors are gone, winter tourists and residents haven't arrived yet. It's easier to get a parking spot at the beach, a seat at the movies and restaurants.

Many people feel that cosmic shifts are happening. This week, 09-09-09 sparked a flurry of ceremonies around the globe. I was delighted to play flute at one here on Siesta Beach. When people participate in ceremony, they shift into a sacred space. ~ SunBear

What shifts do you notice in YOUR life? During our daily tantric lovemaking this morning, Richard and I both noticed when we "shifted" from our individual, personal thoughts into a connection of we-ness. There was an almost tangible click as we shifted into the same orbit.

It's like shifting gears. If we're just zooming along at normal speed, we can easily miss each other. When we slow down, when we each remember to become present and in touch with the moment, we suddenly find each other. Click!

Find yourself, and your beloved, today. Slow down and make the shift. Intimacy is always just a click away!

Greeted by Dolphins

June already! How quickly the months fly by. On the other hand, it seems ages ago that we celebrated my birthday at the drum circle on Siesta Beach (May 10) and that we held book signings in bookstores on Miami Beach and in St. Louis (mid-May). That week, too, I was the Sunday Celebration Speaker at the Center for Spiritual Living in St. Louis - you can listen to the talk right here. Prior to this talk, I had given one at the earlier service that morning. They were intended to be pretty much the same, but this second one turned out quite different from the first. That's quite an art, learning to deliver two similar talks back-to-back. I now have great respect for those who do it regularly!

Just this past weekend, we led a One-Day Intimacy Retreat in Orlando. Different from our weekend workshops, but really a valuable day for the participants. So much packed into one day! There were happy tears during the day and lots of smiles when they left - hurrying home to put into practice what they had learned. Funny how some of the best memories of Intimacy Retreats are of the events that take place back in the couples' private rooms...!

This morning I managed to rise in time to attend yoga on the beach which is now at 8 a.m. instead of 9. Well worth it. Richard joined me for Avananda's wonderful class. Afterward we relaxed our bodies into the Gulf of Mexico, which was like a silky lake this morning, with a pod of dolphins in the neighborhood too! (Maybe some day I'll write about my fabulous meditative experience with dolphins. They are AMAZING beings.)

We returned home and took time to enjoy our daily tantric practice together - Peaceful Passion. What a great beginning for the first day of the month.

Mother's Day Approaches

This Sunday is Mother's Day, of course. I've just sent out a newsletter to subscribers on my website, that includes a "message to men" for Mother's Day..

And Sunday is my birthday. I hope lots of people will celebrate with me at the Siesta Key Drum Circle!

Also this Sunday, at 1 pm, I will stand in silence for 5 minutes, in coordination with women (and men) everywhere, for a better world. What a wonderful way to create world-wide connection between people - StandingWomen.org. And it's a great way to create memories, too. In May 2007, I stood on a train from Milan to Florence. And instead of a bell, I played my flute to signify the beginning and the end of the five minute period. It's nice to have my memories of our month in Europe anchored with this one special moment of standing with women everywhere. Here's to a better world, and to more joy in the one we've got. In each single moment, we can choose to make it better and more joyful. Now.

It's been a busy week, lots of publicity for my book - magazine articles published, interviews on various blogs and radio shows, getting ready for our upcoming book signings and workshops. I'll be away from cyberspace for long stretches of time (hours, at least), won't that be a welcome change!

Off now to catch sunset over the Gulf of Mexico. Join me for a beach walk?

Social Networking

As I spend time traveling around cyberspace, looking for places to post information about the Intimacy Retreats or my book signing schedule, I find that "social networking" leads me into actual connections with real people. Today I had a wonderful dialog with California writer and Tantra teacher Luminessa Enjara, whose passion is to empower women through their sexuality.

Another sex coach, Pam Babbitt of Colorado, wrote about my book today in her blog. I'm reminded that I am part of a larger community. Since I spend most days sitting in front of my computer, I tend to forget that I'm not really alone. How easy it is to get caught in that "optical delusion of separation" (Einstein quote in my last post). How heart-warming and uplifting to awaken to the reality of connection. Allowing myself to be seen, I am embraced by the universe.

I've decided to celebrate my birthday this Sunday (May 10) by inviting everyone to join me at the Siesta Key Drum Circle. Eleven years ago, it was my birthday event that brought the circle back to life after it had gotten rained out for many Sundays in a row. There's something about drumming that brings a group into harmony together, sharing a resonance of vibration. (Maybe it's similar to mob mentality, but with a higher purpose?)

The Beat Goes On

What a great drum circle on our fabulous Siesta Beach last night. Not only did I play sticks again, I also drummed, and even played flute - actually a small clay ocharina in the shape of an owl that I found during one of our Mexico workshops.

In a previous post, I explained playing sticks at the drum circle, but this time was even more intense - a three-some took place. A young boy joined in, and the three of us were dancing and weaving to the wonderful drum beat, while passing the twirling stick from one to the other. An intimate but non-sexual ménage à trois!

Richard showed up and we danced in each other's loving energy.

Gabbing?

Odd word, written down: gabbing. Webster defines it as talking in a "rapid or thoughtless" manner. So I guess I wasn't gabbing this morning with Yolande, Sarasota's premiere clothing designer, because our conversation was rich with serious thoughts. Seriously positive thoughts, and even some pauses between them. That's what made it such a great conversation! We really felt connected. (And since it was a follow up to our chance meeting on Siesta Beach, we had the recent memory of a physical hug still hanging around in our DNA.)

Why is it that verbal communication without specific information or instructions to impart is often put down as "just gabbing." (What is it called when the political pundits talk endlessly on TV?)

Are casual conversations about meaningful topics just "gabbing?" Well, yes, but we can reclaim the word as a GOOD thing, a good way to feel connected with the person we're chatting with. Like sex, some conversations create intimacy (into-me-see) and others are a waste of time. And, like sex, talking is important in a relationship. I once wrote about this in an article called We Have to Talk.

I could go on and on, since writing is a bit like gabbing. Blogging is gabbing. Oops, that's a sentence that's hard to say aloud. What makes a blog into a conversation is that readers can leave comments and reply. And a connected feeling can get transmitted across cyberspace.

Playing with Sticks

At the drum circle on Siesta Key this past Sunday, I experienced an intimate connection with Buck Levine, a psychotherapist, while we played Crystal Stix on the beach. Each of held one stick in each hand while we tossed another stick back and forth between us. Twirling the stick and twirling our bodies, we stayed in synch with each other and the drum beat vibrating around the circle.

Without words, without even touch, we had to keep our energies aligned in order to keep the stick in motion. It was great exercise, and a great way to connect with another person.

As you'll discover, dear reader, this blog is about the many ways we can enjoy the experience of intimate and personal contact - whether sexual or not!