Friday, December 2, 2011


I just discovered that within the word spiritual is the word RITUAL. Why didn't I ever see that before? "Ritual" is on my mind today because I received a newsletter from Sarasota writer & collage artist, Linda Maree, in which she explained the difference between ritual and habit. Of course, I immediately resonated with that. After all, what transforms sexual activity into "sacred sexuality" is the ritualized attention that is brought to it.

It was only when I began to write my own thoughts on this subject that I noticed how ritual is at the heart and core of spiRITUALality. Often the word spiritual is tied to "breath" as it relates to the Latin word spirare, to breathe. (Of course we are all breathing all the time, or at least most of the time, so that's proof that we're all quite spiritual beings. You don't need a specific training or religious path to be considered spiritual!)

Seeing "ritual" in spirituality confirms for me what I have always known, practiced and continue to teach. Ritual is perhaps another word for mindfulness. As Linda wrote in her newsletter, mindful attention is what transforms a habit into a ritual. What my husband Richard and I share each day in our Peaceful Passion ritual is indeed mindful - and also very body-full! That's the beauty of Tantric Sexuality - we get to share with our most precious partner not only our body but also our soul. Not only our soul but also our body. What could be better for a married couple than to honor our love and our relationship with a daily ritual that awakens our hearts and celebrates our bond?

If ever you have wondered how sex & spirituality might be connected, remember that ritual is the key. It's a key that opens the door to joyful laughter and orgasmic glee. Yes, what could be better??

Thursday, September 8, 2011

What an unbelievably wonderful holiday Richard and I have just had! Following the Pacific Northwest Intimacy Retreat, we took off to visit a friend on Salt Spring Island, one of the beautiful Gulf Islands in Canada's British Columbia. Here I am with my flute at the top of Mount Maxwell. We also stayed in Tofino - at Middle Beach Resort, which I whole-heartedly recommend. I spent a full day simply sitting on a deck overlooking the Pacific Ocean. (The whole area reminded me of Big Sur and my life there, where I learned to do massage and play flute.) We ended our holiday with a visit to the famous Buchart Gardens in Victoria.
And as I post this, we are enroute home, using wi-fi while on a Delta flight

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


I love "Focusing" - a somewhat formal method of getting in touch with one's inner truth. A "focusing partner" holds a space for you while you verbally, and in a sense-feeling way, deepen your relationship with yourself. A focusing partner provides brief reflections of your journey, neither adding to it or deflecting it away from you. Very powerful! A trained focusing partner is able to provide guidance to assist you along your own path. Later, you hold the space for your partner. In a focusing session today, I felt a release of energy that had somehow been stuck inside me. Thanks to Eugene Gendlin for developing Focusing ( and Ann Weiser Cornell for her amazing contributions to this modality ( and to my friend and colleague in Vancouver, Katarina Halm ( for her skillful wisdom.

Richard, my husband, is not a "focuser" so I created a mini-practice that allows him to support me in a focusing way when I need that. The practice is called All of Me and it's described in my book. (Feel free to contact me for a free handout on this practice.)

Also today I enjoyed being with my mom, discussing how she might like to celebrate her 90th birthday next January. Suggestions, anyone? :-)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

World Kissing Day!

What is a kiss? Why this, as some approve:
The sure sweet cement, glue and lime of love.
~ Robert Herrick

Today is... Kissing Day! Started in Great Britain but now celebrated worldwide, Kissing Day reminds us of the importance of kissing.

Kissing is really good for you - and your relationship. So today - and everyday, of course - remember to kiss, kiss, kiss!

+ Kissing increases oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Oxtyocin counters the negative effects of stress, resulting in improved health, less depression and addiction, and greater harmony.

+ You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.

+ Kissing helps reduce tooth decay because the extra saliva helps clean out your mouth.

+ You use only two muscles on your face when you give a peck kiss but you use all of your facial muscles and burn more calories during a passionate kiss.

+ Special neurons in our brains help us find each others lips in the dark.

"Love is when you kiss all the time.” Emily - age 8

PS: New location/date added to our schedule: An Intimacy Retreat will be held in British Columbia in September.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


We had 18 people here last night! I created a mini-Haggadah that had ceremony, tradition, spiritual significance and education. Blessings began rather unconventionally, by expanding the naming of the One so that It is not gender-based:

Baruch Atah Adonai, Shekhina, Ruach Ha'Olam...

On the traditional side, we sang traditional songs and I made matzoh balls (from a mix), and the charoses. This was not a veggie seder, as we have had in the past - I bought the entree from a gourmet market (delicious brisket and chicken) and people brought lots of side dishes - potato pancakes and more.

Passover recalls the exodus from Egypt. The Hebrew name for Egypt is Mitzrayim, meaning “a narrow place.” Each Passover, we have an opportunity to note our own current journey in life. We can acknowledge any narrow places we are stuck in – physically, emotionally or mentally - and we can welcome the wider spaces that we are transitioning into. Liberation and freedom are ongoing qualities of life.

We had used stones from our yard to hold down the 2-page Hagaddahs on each place setting (fans overhead had blown them about) so I used the stones in ceremony. We let the stone be our Mitzrayim, our narrow place, placing into it that which holds us back, and then we acknowledged moving through to liberation by tossing the stones back out into the yard!

As I have often done, since graced many years ago with a vision of Miriam, I played flute for an interpretive "Miriam dance" by a lovely young Swiss woman, Jayanara, here studying at Rising Tide Spiritual Center. Then her equally lovely boyfriend and I drummed while she and others danced. We handed out percussion instruments and everyone joined in making music, even my mom.

We ended the evening with a reading from the Velveteen Rabbi's Passover Haggadah: It is traditional to end a seder with L’shanah ha-ba’ah b’Yerushalayim —Next Year in Jerusalem! The root of the word Yerushalayim (Jerusalem) can be read as Ir Shalem (“City of Wholeness”) or Ir Shalom (“City of Peace”). Even if we don’t perceive ourselves as being in exile from the literal Land of Israel, we may find ourselves in exile from the wholeness and unity which only connection with our Source can provide. Next year, wherever we are, may we – and Israel - all be whole and at peace.

And then all that has divided us will merge
And then compassion will be wedded to power
And then softness will come to a world that is harsh and unkind
And then both men and women will be gentle
And then both women and men will be strong
And then all will live in harmony with each other and the earth
And then everywhere will be called Eden once again. —Judy Chicago

On a less fun note, an old friend of mine from when I studied Aikido and meditation in California, Marty Weiner, took leave of this life this past Saturday, by his own choice. I honored him too while playing Miriam's Song on my flute.

Monday, April 11, 2011

ABC Nightline News - national TV coverage!

ABC Nightline has filmed a story about our workshops!!! Having the producer and film crew with us for a whole weekend was quite an adventure. We led the workshop as we always do and they stayed in the background. The participating couples were just amazing - so willing to help spread the word about Intimacy Retreats. Changing the world, one happy couple at a time!

The show was supposed to air tonight, but has been postponed... I'm told that "nothing in a news room is ever definite." Stay tuned...

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Cancer & Intimacy

I am hosting a free online seminar that addresses relationship challenges caused by prostate disease, breast cancer & other serious illnesses. It will be led by Rabbi Ed Weinsberg, author of Conquer Prostate Cancer: How Medicine, Faith, Love and Sex Can Renew Your Life.

It's taking place on Tuesday, March 1, 4 pm PST (7 pm EST) bu
t registrants who cannot listen at that time can hear it later. He's very good and answers personal questions. Highly recommended! For info, go to

Friday, February 11, 2011

RX for Sex & Intimacy - our workshop!!

Our Intimacy Retreats are featured in today's USAToday newspaper, travel section! A version is also available online. What fun!

Now Amazon is almost sold out of our book.. but we have them, you can order directly at

♥ Diana