Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Feeling Sexy?

Sexy is the delighted smile caught across the room. Eyes lighting up at a glance. Slow, sensual lovemaking. Being happy for no reason. A satisfying rearrangement of art or furniture. Sexy is an impromptu jam – with musical instrument, voice or body. A touch, a scent. An openness to the moment. Sexy is a tingling, an energy flow. Sex itself is sexy when S.E.X. = Synchronized Energy eXchange, Shared Energy eXchange. Tantric sex is sexy. It involves the eyes, the touch, the senses. The mind listening to the heart is sexy. Nature is sexy. A leaf unfurling, a bud releasing into bloom. The rich dark earth. Soft breeze caressing skin. The night sky, the full moon. Stars. Sunrise. Surprises.

A great relationship is sexy. Waking up in love. The first rush of hot chemical connection is definitely sexy. But then sometimes sexy gets lost in the chaos of family, friends, home, health and career.

Sexy can be recaptured. It’s always there, in the very core of our being. Our inner joy. Sexy isn't what we do, it's who we are.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Reiki ~ A Touch of Energy

As a massage instructor at Esalen Institute, many years ago, I discovered that if I just held my hands still, resting them on my client's body, a deepening experience of relaxation occurred. I experimented with placing my hands in different areas, and found that each person had an "energy map" that guided me. Sometimes I felt in contact with their soul, even past lives. This type of hands-on contact was probably the first way one human reached out to help another feel better, help another heal. In my youthful exuberance, I thought I had invented a form of healing that no one else knew about! I called it "Energy Alignment," because it felt as if an alignment took place between the physical body and the energy overlay.

I began to hear of other systems that used this approach and realized that although it was new to me, it wasn't new at all. One system is called Reiki, which is Japanese for "universal energy." Eventually I became "attuned" to the Reiki energy and certified as a Reiki Teacher (Actually called Reiki Master but my feminist spirit prefers not to use gender-based terms. And Reiki Mistress, well, doesn't quite do it.)

This week I reunited with a group of Reiki healers I used to meet with when I first moved to Florida. (Yikes, that was in the last century!) We did a round-robin of treatments on one another - brief, only five minutes each, but with eight sets of hands applying the touch at once, it was extraordinary. Time stretched to encompass a transformation of dimensions.

The potential of touch is enormous. Babies, as well as the oldest among us, "fail to thrive" without it. Beyond fulfilling a living need, touch brings us into the intersection of here-and-now, the place where authentic intimacy (into-me-see) takes place.

Richard (my husband) and I have been focusing on the power of touch lately. Highlighting the connection of skin-to-skin ~ The Lover's Touch.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


I was so excited last night, participating in a teleseminar with Gay Hendricks - yes, participating, thanks to a new technology that lets listeners interact in groups with each other. (The seminar event was free - there are still more offerings this month, also free, with other leaders. Check it out at maestromonth)

Gay's work over the years has instructed and inspired me. It was especially exciting to hear him say that COMMITMENT is the number #1 most important step in moving forward and creating change. We have a chapter in our book called "Commitment to Intimacy" and a move in Tantra Tai Chi called, what else, the "Commitment Move." So when I heard him say that, I felt a huge "YES!" run through my body. Yes! Commitment. Showing up.

I also appreciated Hendricks's emphasis on reaching out to others as we ourselves evolve. He invited us to speak this mantra/affirmation: "I expand in abundance, success, creativity and love every day as I inspire others to do the same!" The concept is that we can move ourselves to higher levels of love, abundnce, success and creativity by making the commitment to do so along with a commitment to inspire others as well. He invites us to take a look at old programming that holds as back, as well as four specific fears that may be hiding within us: (1) fear of outshining someone, (2) fear of being a burden (3) fear of leaving people behind and (4) the fear of being fundamentally flawed. Lots to chew on here. His new book is The Big Leap: Connquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level.

And now I notice a part of me pulling back, resisting. Ah-ha! A hidden fear revealing itself? Doesn't want to be chewed on, just held with compassion. These fears, whichever may show up, are not recent, they have lived in us for a very long time. Perhaps we have ignored or suppressed them. By embracing and meeting our fears with presence, we open ourselves to the possibility of change, we create the potential for taking that big leap.

And it all begins with commitment. "I commit to expanding in abundance, love, creativity and success every day as I inspire others to do the same!"

Sunday, July 5, 2009


I appreciate living in the U.S.A., and on the 4th of July, I also appreciate the ancient Chinese. Not only did they create T'ai Chi which has so greatly influenced my life, they also gave us fireworks. Historians aren't in agreement as to exactly when and where the first dazzling display occurred, but I can tell you about the most recent occasion I enjoyed - last night on Siesta Beach!

Perhaps it's extravagant for each of our local towns to sponsor a separate display, and it may even be bad for the environment. I don't know if there are "green" fireworks, but last night's colors included green, as well as a myriad of other colors and wonderful red hearts. Booming and bursting right above us as we lay on the beach, I can't say whether I was really celebrating American Independence Day or my own anniversary weekend. (It's also the birthday of my friend's son, Obama's daughter, and I'm sure many others, all of whom probably grew up thinking the fireworks were in celebration of them!)

Speaking of the word celebrate, in my Intimacy Retreats newsletter this weekend, I included that story about a monk... well, you can read it here: http://bit.ly/7-03-09.

Whatever, whenever and however we celebrate, may it always highlight and expand the love and happiness in our hearts.