No matter how busy our lives are, it's so important to create time for intimate connection, with those we love and most especially with ourselves.
One way I create self-intimacy is through Focusing, a listening process that uses body-awareness to sense into one's inner truth. Originally developed by Eugene Gendlin, Focusing is a gentle yet powerful method of embracing all the parts of ourselves and finding our way forward with clarity and wholeness.
In my book, there is a focusing-related practice called "All of Me" which I sometimes use when I want to be present with Richard for our loving time together, but part of me is reluctant, or causing a distraction and could even create distance. The All of Me practice allows me to safely bring awareness of that part into the present moment, while allowing us to go forward with our loving.
Although Focusing can be done alone, having another person listening is the really magical component. Richard has never studied the process (he’s not the studying-type), but the All of Me practice gives him a few easy words to say that actually help me regain my ability to be present with him. It's amazing!
Focusing with a partner is truly intimate. Two of my focusing partners are Katya in New York and Katarina in Vancouver. Thank you, Alexander Graham Bell for inventing the telephone! (oops, a more accurate study of history reveals that Elisha Gray was the true inventor.)
If you’re interested in knowing more...
I studied Focusing with Ann Weiser Cornell.
Creative Edge Focusing Blog by Dr. Kathy McGuire (lots of free and valuable info, beyond just Focusing)
Katarina Halm is a teacher of Focusing, Feldenkrais , the Sounder Sleep System, and other related body-oriented healings.
Katya Salkinder is a tantric psychotherapist.
About Elisha Gray (if you're REALLY interested! I knew a man who invented the television only to discover that someone else had patented it just days before. Great minds really do think alike.)
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