Now that's an interesting phrase, "old flames." I didn't think of it until I just now entered the title of this post. What I WAS thinking about was... someone I had been in relationship with many years ago... and then another someone... and as I thought of these past loves, it made a change in my day. Here I was, kind of spent from being on the computer all day, seeking ways to contribute to the global conversation about love and intimacy (and, yes, seeking publicity for my book, that too).
I noticed an email announcing that my Focusing mentor, Ann Weiser Cornell, will lead a workshop at Esalen Insitute in Big Sur, California. Which led me online to the Esalen site, reminiscing about how I had taught massage there many years ago, reminiscing about living in Big Sur, which led to googling friends from those days... which led to musing about past loves. Which brought a smile to my face! I'm even sitting here, still at my computer, missing sunset on the beach, because thinking about these past loves is bringing back memories and feelings that are quite delicious.
So "flames" is maybe a good word - in the sense that they still have the ability to warm my heart and maybe even tickle my fancy, so to speak. One I haven't seen since 1985. The other, I unexpectedly ran into on an isolated beach in Yelapa, Mexico, in 1997. Perhaps they are thinking of me (after all, my birthday's coming up next month, surely they remember? ;-)
How lucky I am that thinking about past relationships brings joy and happiness to my heart. Since they're "past" relationships, there were obviously times of great stress but my body seems to remember the good times, the connection that I had with each of them. (On the periphery of my consciousness are others, too, but they're not clamoring for attention, so I need not remember them right now!)
I'm not wanting to end the post. I sit here basking in my own smile, even laughing aloud with delight. But now I'll go give Richard a big hug - and let him know that HE's the flame of my life!
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I know what you mean! I found the love of my life when I was 57 and he 64. Our love was so grand -- and spicy -- that it led me to write a combination memoir/self-help book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty.
ReplyDeleteAs I wrote it, I reminisced about past relationships and realized how they led me, step by step, to be ready for this great love. I made the mistakes I needed to make, learned how to dialogue, assert myself, and compromise, and discovered, person by person, what kind of man I really wanted in my life.
So in a way, the old flames helped light the new fire that would be the great love of my life. Is that how you feel, too?
Joan Price
Author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty (Seal Press, 2006, http://www.joanprice.com/BetterThanExpected.htm )
Join us -- we're talking about ageless sexuality at http://www.betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com
Ah yes, every past experience has been part of the path to where we are now. Thanks for commenting!
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