Newsletter Sent!

Communication with couples who are interested in our Intimacy Retreats is SO important. I just emailed a newsletter to 5,000 people! Wow, that is amazing to me! Of course, I think that most monthly newsletters go out at the beginning of the month.. and here it is mid-April already. Still, getting it done is an accomplishment I'm proud of. (Hope there weren't any typos or bad links.)

And today, my radio interview is featured on The Kathleen Show. There's our photo on the page, along with some very famous people. So today is a good 3rd chakra day. Chakras are psycho/spiritual energy centers in the body, and the 3rd chakra, located along the spine about midriff or solar plexus level, below the diaphragm, allows us to experience healthy self-esteem.

It's good to feel proud as long as we don't become too prideful. My heart chakra is active today too, because when I reach out to those thousands of people, I feel it through my heart. It may only be a momentary connection but if I can inspire others to nurture the love in their own relationship, it opens my heart as well. Love is good medicine for everyone!

With gratitude for all that is,
Diana

Lights Out!

On Saturday, March 27, at 8:30pm local time, we are being asked to participate in EarthHour, a one-hour lights-out reminder of our global need for renewable energy sources. This is the fourth year of this event and it turns me on that billions of people and organizations will turn off their lights in a cascading effect around the planet. Imagine what that might look like from space! (Of course now that we have Google, we probably won't have to imagine it, Google will probably find a way to map it for us.)

That's another thing that turns me on, Google. Well, not just Google but the entire internet, the entire web that connects us instantaneously as if we were truly - and maybe we are - one huge organism, one Being with billions of ways of presenting Itself.

Using only candlelight for an hour sounds like a lovely way to begin Saturday evening. Whether in a romantic setting or simply with friends and family, candles not only alter the visual environment, they often bring a change of mood, a closeness, a slowing down of the busy-ness of life. We could all use that for an hour!

I've heard that the flame of a candle can be seen throughout the cosmos, which means that angels, and beings in other dimensions, might also appreciate this worldwide, hourlong turn off of electricity. Hmm. I suppose not just the lights should go off, but our use of the internet itself, don't you think? I love when making calls via Skype, it says how many millions of others are also using it. If everyone held back from using electronic communication for the hour, that number could be tracked as well, time zone by time zone. How about no emails or texting or even phone calls. Plan to be with a friend at that time, face-to-face. Now THAT would be a huge turn-on, an hour of ONLY face-to-face communication.

One final thing that EarthHour reminds me of is a Jewish meditation and a Native American chant, both of which celebrate the Divine LIGHT as being within us and all around us. Perhaps in the darkness we will find it easier to access this inner light.

Acknowledging Presence: I See You

From today's Intimacy Retreats newsletter....

In the movie Avatar. a three-word phrase is used to acknowledge the true presence of another. The phrase is "I see you." How similar in feeling that is to "Namaste," the Sanskrit word we use at Intimacy Retreats when honoring our partner. Namaste translates as "bow," and indeed we do bow toward our beloved. The deeper meaning is even more significant. It is a spiritual acknowledgement. It is a seeing of the other as a beautiful expression of soul. In that place of soulness, we are One. This is the bliss of love.

At our retreats in Mexico, we use a Mayan expression, In Lak'ech, which means "I am your other you." Not only do I see you, but I am so connected to you, that we are One. While each is a unique expression of that Oneness, together we share who we are.

To truly see another, we must be in touch with our own authentic presence. A simple, three-word sentence that expresses such presence is "I am here." In Hebrew it is "Hineni," said by Moses as he stood before the burning bush. At our workshops, we use this as a powerful statement of committed connection. When we are facing our partner, looking into each other's eyes and aligning our hearts and bodies, "I am here" creates a timeless moment of shared presence.

Try saying these phrases with your beloved. Sit or stand in front of each other (naked is good!). If you have attended an Intimacy Retreat, use one of the Tantra Tai Chi positions or movements, or "Peaceful Passion." Look into each other's eyes. Let your beloved see into you. (Intimacy = Into-Me-See). Awaken love.

Autism

Here is something that caught my attention and interest recently:

A person with autism thinks in a totally different way than most of us do. Thinking typically implies the use of language to ponder, sort, consider and store information. Dr. Temple Gradin, a scientist and writer whose life is currently being portrayed on HBO, shows us that her autism allows her to think in pictures instead of words. The movie, titled simply, Temple Gradin, gives a sense of what it might be like to be her. Although she is quite well known in her professional field as well as in the world of autism, I was unfamiliar with her name. I hadn't seen any HBO promotions for the movie, just happened on it by chance. It had already started when I began to watch it and about half way through, I turned to Richard and said, this is so amazing, it must be a true story! Googled right then and there on my Blackberry and confirmed it.

I'm not sure exactly what stirs my fascination more - that someone would devote her life to designing better and more humane ways of leading cattle to slaughter (Gradin's field of expertise) or that someone with what is so often considered a crippling diagnosis could actually draw on the strength of her differentness to contribute so much to society. "Different, not less," is the message throughout. I highly recommend seeing this.

I am often surprised at what catches my attention, what excites my energy. A glimpse into the life of someone who thinks in pictures gave me much to muse about. Life is rich with so many possibilities.

Valentine's Day Thoughts

I've been thinking lately about "discipline." It's going to be the topic of a teleclass panel I'm on, on Feb 23. My friend, author Susyn Reeve, of www.Self-Esteem-Experts.com, recently sent out, in her "daily inspiration" newsletter, a note about exercising her "discipline muscle."

For so many couples (dare I say most?), a daily routine to connect with one's most beloved partner is a challenging discipline to implement. Even when we reap a tangible benefit, even when it's something we enjoy, there's some kind of resistance we give in to. Or maybe it's simply a matter of forgetting.

For my husband Richard and me, the 10 minutes of our Peaceful Passion, using the energy principles of Tantra Tai Chi, while physically keeping lingam in yoni, is so mutually fulfilling to both of us that we manage to "remember" and show up for it almost daily. (Yes, sometimes we have to remind each other. It's still easy to get lost in whatever else we're each doing.)

I wonder how we decide which "disciplines" become routine in our lives.. For example, I have not ever - at least not yet - managed to discipline myself to a daily stretching or yoga routine, which I "keep meaning to." Maybe we don't make a decision about most of them, we just get into the habit of whatever we do - or don't do - regularly. Writing in this blog is an activity I show up for, albeit quite irregularly, even though I love writing. (How delighted I am to be here right now!)

We make choices every moment, and if we don't choose, the choice is made for us, maybe based on either momentum or entropy. We keep moving because we're moving, or we run out of steam. Discipline, habits, routines... A lot to muse about, yes?

Temperament plays a role. Some of us are born with a strong discipline muscle, or have it trained into us. Some need "new" everyday, are addicted to the brain's pleasure center that lights up for novelty. For others, routine and discipline are comforting.

I don't have any answers but I do believe that each of us can enhance our lives by creating - and sticking to - rituals that matter to our health, our relationship, our life. And I am grateful that Richard and I both find Peaceful Passion valuable enough to show up for it every day!

Odd thoughts, perhaps, on Valentine's Day, thinking about discipline, ritual, routines. Or not odd at all, since the whole idea of Valentine's Day is an annual routine, an annual ritual. We've been trained as a society, that at least once a year (well, maybe two or three times, including birthdays, anniversaries and those December holidays), we "show up" to express love for our partner. What if we only went to the gym three times a year? Not much exercise of our "discipline muscle" would occur.

Susyn proposes that when we stick to an exercise routine, a physical workout, it helps strengthen our ability to be more disciplined in other areas of our life. I wonder though, if some couples might do better to trade in some of that exercise time for at least a brief daily loving time with each other. When we nourish our relationships on a regular basis, we live in joy. Surely that's a way to make Valentine's Day last all year!

Holistic Moms

How wonderful to be in the company of mothers. Women who with their whole hearts - along with their bodies and bank accounts - are raising the children of the next generation. This group of moms, in particular, take their mothering quite seriously and gather together at meetings where they not only schmooze with one another but also take time to learn something new that will improve their lives in some way.

Tonight in Sarasota, I was the guest speaker. The topic, of course, was based on my book, Tantric Sex for Busy Couples. No one is busier than moms. Sure enough, that's what I heard from them - how little time, how tired they get, how uninterested they think they are in the type of "intimacy" their husbands want. Not all of course. At least one - really, only one - of the moms reported being quite happy and sexually active with her husband.


I shared with them what I think is important about relationships and gave them a new way to think about intimacy, sexuality and the gift of love. When parents share a soulful presence with one another, even if it's only a few moments a day, their children benefit. So often the adult relationship is suspended during child raising. So little time, etc. Let's change that around, let's remind couples how valuable their love is. How valuable love is.

Writing and Loving

There's been so little time lately to write in this blog, originally intended as a place where I would write from my heart, revealing myself - thus the blog name, Into-Me-See. As a self-employed person, workshop leader and author, most of my writing is oriented toward letting the world know what I do, letting the world know that there is a way to be in love, to be in life, to be in relationship, a way that allows happiness to flow with confidence and regularity.

I love to write, I love the way words take form through my fingers on a keyboard. Even when playing flute, I hear/sense words directing the music, giving it shape and formation. It's not that I have a lot to say. Like certain birds, I imagine, the song I sing sounds the same to me, feels the same to me, even as the words change. It is a song of love and if you were watching me right now, you'd see a glowing smile on my face and laughter beginning to bubble up within me.

Perhaps I'm not saying much of anything, or much about anything, but things aren't what the world needs more of, are they? We do need more love! How blessed I am to be in a relationship where I get to practice love on a daily basis. Although I was thinking first of my darling Richard/husband, as the sentence came to a close I realized that my new blessing is the presence of my mother.

I read today that boomer babies (I'm one) are the first generation to grow old along with their mothers - which gives us the opportunity to finally recognize and appreciate the depth of love in this most challenging bond.

And it truly is a bond, isn't it? Even for those of us who were well-enough loved as children, and I was, the mother/daughter bond can be fraught with tension and unresolved issues. I couldn't wait to leave home at 18; my mom was only 42 then. Now she is almost 88, and I am thrilled that she has just relocated to live near me. I am delighted that I can find time to be with her.