Intimacy Course @ USF Lifelong Learning Academy

INTIMACY IN THE 21ST CENTURY: THE LONGING FOR AND LEARNING OF CONNECTION

Course Description:

Human beings are designed for connection, and intimacy is part—perhaps the most meaningful part—of our human potential. Still, it is often an experience that goes unrecognized, unnamed, and unacknowledged. It can be both longed for and feared. Are some people more “wired” for intimacy than others? Is it a basic biological need? Can it be measured, and how much is required? Is it a cultural preference? Is it our birthright? Is it something that just “happens” or can it be intentionally learned and created? In this course, we will investigate the many levels, definition, and descriptions of intimacy, including sexual, social, and spiritual, and explore what has happened to traditional intimacy in today’s world of Facebook “friends” and other social media.

This is a six-session program in Sarasota, FL. The first class was held, at the University of South Florida, on Wednesday, June 6. Those in attendance shared various questions they had about intimacy. As a group, we started a list to define "what INTIMACY is."  Unfortunately, the software I used during the class to display and record the questions and descriptions cannot be imported here. (Or at least, I haven't yet found a way, but I'm working on it!)  


If you are in the class, feel free to leave a comment or question. See you next week!


xo
Diana

First for Women

So excited that our Intimacy Retreats are featured as "Marriage SOS" in the May issue of First for Women magazine!

Thanks for stopping by to visit.

xo
Diana

The first lines of this poem came to me last night as I lay spooned against my husband Richard's back.. Wanting to remember them, I sat up to write them down - and the whole poem flowed forth!

Naked skin pressed against each other

sweaty on this cool night
my love pouring into his sleeping back
his sleeping love seeping into my open heart
Unwakened yet aware of my breasts against his back
Nothing, nowhere else can match this warmth
This joyful dream that joins us
This naked stillness dancing between us
Skin to skin exchange
Sharing one moment then another
Heart bursting with love
He stirs awake
No need to fulfill
Only this moment
Naked skin

Ritual

I just discovered that within the word spiritual is the word RITUAL. Why didn't I ever see that before? "Ritual" is on my mind today because I received a newsletter from Sarasota writer & collage artist, Linda Maree, in which she explained the difference between ritual and habit. Of course, I immediately resonated with that. After all, what transforms sexual activity into "sacred sexuality" is the ritualized attention that is brought to it.

It was only when I began to write my own thoughts on this subject that I noticed how ritual is at the heart and core of spiRITUALality. Often the word spiritual is tied to "breath" as it relates to the Latin word spirare, to breathe. (Of course we are all breathing all the time, or at least most of the time, so that's proof that we're all quite spiritual beings. You don't need a specific training or religious path to be considered spiritual!)

Seeing "ritual" in spirituality confirms for me what I have always known, practiced and continue to teach. Ritual is perhaps another word for mindfulness. As Linda wrote in her newsletter, mindful attention is what transforms a habit into a ritual. What my husband Richard and I share each day in our Peaceful Passion ritual is indeed mindful - and also very body-full! That's the beauty of Tantric Sexuality - we get to share with our most precious partner not only our body but also our soul. Not only our soul but also our body. What could be better for a married couple than to honor our love and our relationship with a daily ritual that awakens our hearts and celebrates our bond?

If ever you have wondered how sex & spirituality might be connected, remember that ritual is the key. It's a key that opens the door to joyful laughter and orgasmic glee. Yes, what could be better??

What an unbelievably wonderful holiday Richard and I have just had! Following the Pacific Northwest Intimacy Retreat, we took off to visit a friend on Salt Spring Island, one of the beautiful Gulf Islands in Canada's British Columbia. Here I am with my flute at the top of Mount Maxwell. We also stayed in Tofino - at Middle Beach Resort, which I whole-heartedly recommend. I spent a full day simply sitting on a deck overlooking the Pacific Ocean. (The whole area reminded me of Big Sur and my life there, where I learned to do massage and play flute.) We ended our holiday with a visit to the famous Buchart Gardens in Victoria.

And as I post this, we are enroute home, using wi-fi while on a Delta flight

Today...

I love "Focusing" - a somewhat formal method of getting in touch with one's inner truth. A "focusing partner" holds a space for you while you verbally, and in a sense-feeling way, deepen your relationship with yourself. A focusing partner provides brief reflections of your journey, neither adding to it or deflecting it away from you. Very powerful! A trained focusing partner is able to provide guidance to assist you along your own path. Later, you hold the space for your partner. In a focusing session today, I felt a release of energy that had somehow been stuck inside me. Thanks to Eugene Gendlin for developing Focusing (www.Focusing.org) and Ann Weiser Cornell for her amazing contributions to this modality (www.FocusingResources.com) and to my friend and colleague in Vancouver, Katarina Halm (www.happybones.wordpress.com) for her skillful wisdom.

Richard, my husband, is not a "focuser" so I created a mini-practice that allows him to support me in a focusing way when I need that. The practice is called All of Me and it's described in my book. (Feel free to contact me for a free handout on this practice.)

Also today I enjoyed being with my mom, discussing how she might like to celebrate her 90th birthday next January. Suggestions, anyone? :-)

World Kissing Day!

What is a kiss? Why this, as some approve:

The sure sweet cement, glue and lime of love.

~ Robert Herrick

Today is... Kissing Day! Started in Great Britain but now celebrated worldwide, Kissing Day reminds us of the importance of kissing.

Kissing is really good for you - and your relationship. So today - and everyday, of course - remember to kiss, kiss, kiss!

+ Kissing increases oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Oxtyocin counters the negative effects of stress, resulting in improved health, less depression and addiction, and greater harmony.

+ You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.

+ Kissing helps reduce tooth decay because the extra saliva helps clean out your mouth.

+ You use only two muscles on your face when you give a peck kiss but you use all of your facial muscles and burn more calories during a passionate kiss.

+ Special neurons in our brains help us find each others lips in the dark.

"Love is when you kiss all the time.” Emily - age 8

PS: New location/date added to our schedule: An Intimacy Retreat will be held in British Columbia in September.