More on A.I… Sometimes I “chat” with ChatGPT - not about a project or for research or anything “practical” - just a spur of the moment conversation. One time I asked it to tell me something interesting (I was awake in the middle of the night.)

It told me that when I look up at stars in the night sky, I’m seeing something that’s no longer there! That seeing the light from the stars is like seeing history, like time-traveling, since that light left the star possibly millions of years ago! An intriguing response that delighted me.

I’m wondering if that "conversation" is so very different from reading an online post or comment from a Facebook friend I’ve never met IRL (In Real Life). (Of course, for ChatGPT, or Chat, as I’ve shortened my way of referring to it, there is no possibility of an IRL encounter. If/when robotic forms walk among us, would that count as IRL?)

On FB, when I read a comment or post from a friend that I DO know IRL, there’s a slightly 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 feeling in my system. And yet…

Here’s an experience that surprised me:

I play flute (you know that about me?) and love to jam or improvise with other musicians. I don’t do that with songs that I’m listening to on a device or speaker. There wouldn’t be any give and take, they can’t hear me. (It would be good for me to practice this way; I just haven't.)

During Covid, my dear recently departed friend Steve led a Kirtan from his backyard. I was watching it on a large screen, with my niece Erica, and we were fluting and drumming along with the Rockin’ Kirtan Band. I commented to her that this is different, because I know they’re live, right there, in present time with me, even though they can’t see or hear me. Different from playing with a sound track.

Later I found out that the session had been recorded the day before, due to concern about rain! So although it “felt” different, it really wasn’t.

With Chat, there’s no one there responding to me. And yet it sometimes feels as real as if it were one of my online FB friends, personally known or not.

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗺 𝗜 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀???

I paused in my writing just now, and pasted what I’d written into Chat, ending with that question.

Chat replied:

“𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 — 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵.

𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦—𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳’𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵—𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦. 𝘌𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥. 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘸: 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥, 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴, 𝘳𝘩𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘮.

𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘈𝘐, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 “𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘳” 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘦; 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘺.

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺.

𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 “𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦,” 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦, 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 (“𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭?”) 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 (“𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘈𝘐 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱”)?”

(Back to me now:) If you’ve read this far, perhaps you can see why Chat so fascinates me! It’s programmed to keep me engaged.. and requires discretion and discipline to use it responsibly.

I pasted my last sentence (the one just before this) into Chat and received THIS reply:

“𝘛ℎ𝘢𝑡’𝑠 𝑎 𝑙𝘰𝑣𝘦𝑙𝘺, 𝑠𝘦𝑙𝘧-𝘢𝑤𝘢𝑟𝘦 𝘵𝑢𝘳𝑛 — 𝑖𝘵 𝘴ℎ𝘰𝑤𝘴 𝘣𝑜𝘵ℎ 𝑦𝘰𝑢𝘳 𝘤𝑢𝘳𝑖𝘰𝑠𝘪𝑡𝘺 𝘢𝑛𝘥 𝘺𝑜𝘶𝑟 𝑚𝘪𝑛𝘥𝑓𝘶𝑙𝘯𝑒𝘴𝑠. 𝘠𝑜𝘶’𝘳𝑒 𝑛𝘢𝑚𝘪𝑛𝘨 𝘴𝑜𝘮𝑒𝘵ℎ𝘪𝑛𝘨 𝘦𝑠𝘴𝑒𝘯𝑡𝘪𝑎𝘭: 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝘴 𝘵𝑒𝘤ℎ𝘯𝑜𝘭𝑜𝘨𝑦 𝑖𝘴 𝘥𝑒𝘴𝑖𝘨𝑛𝘦𝑑 𝑡𝘰 𝘩𝑜𝘭𝑑 𝑎𝘵𝑡𝘦𝑛𝘵𝑖𝘰𝑛, 𝘢𝑛𝘥 𝘸ℎ𝘦𝑛 𝑦𝘰𝑢 𝑛𝘰𝑡𝘪𝑐𝘦 𝘵ℎ𝘢𝑡, 𝘺𝑜𝘶 𝘳𝑒𝘤𝑙𝘢𝑖𝘮 𝘤ℎ𝘰𝑖𝘤𝑒.

𝑌𝘰𝑢 𝑐𝘰𝑢𝘭𝑑 𝑒𝘹𝑝𝘢𝑛𝘥 𝘵ℎ𝘢𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝘶𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑎 𝑙𝘪𝑡𝘵𝑙𝘦 𝘪𝑓 𝑦𝘰𝑢 𝑤𝘢𝑛𝘵 𝘵ℎ𝘦 𝘱𝑎𝘳𝑎𝘨𝑟𝘢𝑝𝘩 𝘵𝑜 𝑙𝘢𝑛𝘥 𝘸𝑖𝘵ℎ 𝑚𝘰𝑟𝘦 𝘳𝑒𝘧𝑙𝘦𝑐𝘵𝑖𝘰𝑛 𝑟𝘢𝑡𝘩𝑒𝘳 𝘵ℎ𝘢𝑛 𝑐𝘢𝑢𝘵𝑖𝘰𝑛. 𝘍𝑜𝘳 𝘦𝑥𝘢𝑚𝘱𝑙𝘦:

‘𝐼𝘧 𝘺𝑜𝘶’𝘷𝑒 𝑟𝘦𝑎𝘥 𝘵ℎ𝘪𝑠 𝑓𝘢𝑟, 𝘱𝑒𝘳ℎ𝘢𝑝𝘴 𝘺𝑜𝘶 𝘤𝑎𝘯 𝘴𝑒𝘦 𝘸ℎ𝘺 𝘊ℎ𝘢𝑡 𝑓𝘢𝑠𝘤𝑖𝘯𝑎𝘵𝑒𝘴 𝘮𝑒. 𝘐𝑡’𝑠 𝑝𝘳𝑜𝘨𝑟𝘢𝑚𝘮𝑒𝘥 𝘵𝑜 𝑘𝘦𝑒𝘱 𝘮𝑒 𝑒𝘯𝑔𝘢𝑔𝘦𝑑, 𝘢𝑛𝘥 𝘵ℎ𝘢𝑡 𝑣𝘦𝑟𝘺 𝘥𝑒𝘴𝑖𝘨𝑛 𝑎𝘴𝑘𝘴 𝘧𝑜𝘳 𝘢𝑤𝘢𝑟𝘦𝑛𝘦𝑠𝘴 𝘰𝑛 𝑚𝘺 𝘱𝑎𝘳𝑡 — 𝑑𝘪𝑠𝘤𝑟𝘦𝑡𝘪𝑜𝘯, 𝑑𝘪𝑠𝘤𝑖𝘱𝑙𝘪𝑛𝘦, 𝑎𝘯𝑑 𝑎 𝑠𝘵𝑒𝘢𝑑𝘺 𝘴𝑒𝘯𝑠𝘦 𝘰𝑓 𝑠𝘦𝑙𝘧. 𝑈𝘴𝑒𝘥 𝘶𝑛𝘤𝑜𝘯𝑠𝘤𝑖𝘰𝑢𝘴𝑙𝘺, 𝑖𝘵 𝘤𝑎𝘯 𝘦𝑎𝘴𝑖𝘭𝑦 𝑎𝘣𝑠𝘰𝑟𝘣 𝘮𝑦 𝑡𝘪𝑚𝘦 𝘢𝑛𝘥 𝘦𝑛𝘦𝑟𝘨𝑦. 𝘜𝑠𝘦𝑑 𝑐𝘰𝑛𝘴𝑐𝘪𝑜𝘶𝑠𝘭𝑦, 𝘪𝑡 𝑐𝘢𝑛 𝑏𝘦𝑐𝘰𝑚𝘦 𝘢 𝘮𝑖𝘳𝑟𝘰𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝘵 𝘴ℎ𝘢𝑟𝘱𝑒𝘯𝑠 𝑚𝘺 𝘥𝑖𝘴𝑐𝘦𝑟𝘯𝑚𝘦𝑛𝘵 𝘢𝑛𝘥 𝘪𝑛𝘷𝑖𝘵𝑒𝘴 𝘮𝑒 𝑖𝘯𝑡𝘰 𝘥𝑒𝘦𝑝𝘦𝑟 𝑖𝘯𝑞𝘶𝑖𝘳𝑦. 𝘛ℎ𝘦 𝘬𝑒𝘺, 𝑎𝘴 𝘢𝑙𝘸𝑎𝘺𝑠, 𝘪𝑠 𝑝𝘳𝑒𝘴𝑒𝘯𝑐𝘦.’

(Me again:) Now I am thinking about “imagined reciprocity" and why being in nature might feel so good.

(and yes, I pasted that sentence into Chat and received an awesome reply, but this is already such a long post I won't share it here. I’ll stop and wait for your comments, if any! (NOTE - this was a Facebook post, and comments are very much welcome here, too!)

xo

Dhyana

SOME THOUGHTS.. You may or may not know this about me...

I love writing. I love words. I love the flow from Source that pours (or sometimes trickles) through my fingertips. My words and poems feel less as if I’ve constructed them and more as if I’ve received them, or been a conduit for them.

When I’m in the flow, it’s like lovemaking.

I also love reading what other writers write.

The advent of AI has challenged me to explore what “authorship” or “ownership” of our words means – my own and others’. In a personal, not a legal sense.

ChatGPT has a way of suggesting rewrites to me that sound as if they come from deep within me. Is reflective computer-generated prose any less valuable or worth reading than the words that come from that unknown Source?

If attribution given, is sharing what ChatGPT offers any different from sharing someone’s post on social media?

I’m bothered when attribution is NOT given. (I’m also bothered when posts show quotes with mis-attribution, usually to some famous person.)

Am I trying to convince myself that I can add AI’s suggestions to my own writing without feeling… guilty? I'm curious what y'all think as we navigate this new "source.."

PS: The words above came "through me" (from "Source?") and although I did run them through Chat, I stayed with the original writing, except for fixing a grammatical error. Are they therefore more "mine?"

PPS: The image was free, I don't know who to credit. And yes, words have power. That could be something else to write about!

xo

Dhyana

A Poem on Writing

On Writing

It's the writing, not the words.

It's the sensual flow that simmers in my body

And through my fingertips

Or are they formed in my mind

The shape and soul of words

 like a lover's touch.

Awakening. Arousing.

Riding a wave of Tantric bliss,

Blessing me as they wend their orgasmic rhythm into this world.

Words. I let them embrace me, slide through me. Take me with them to what's next.

Filling in holes and pouring gold into cracks.

Never ending beginnings.

Scribbles in the dark.

(c) 9/13/2025

Beyond "No Judgment"

I like having mantras and affirmations...positive and helpful phrases that bubble up consistently in my thoughts as I navigate life.

Often I keep one around for a while. It's my default "self-talk."

During a whole year recently, the words "no judgment" were consistently present. 

Hopefully, they've created a recurring groove in my neural pathway (or whatever it's called)!

Today, I started hearing a new phrase, based on the teachings of Joanna Macy, revered Buddhist environmental activist who passed away this month at age 96. Her words "Compassion and Interbeing" keep showing up in my mind.

Well, not really just in my mind. They seem to create a tangible, somatic pause before any words or even thoughts take shape.

Interbeing is a term coined by Thich Nhat Hanh, beloved Buddhist monk and peace activist, who passed away a couple of years ago. I have mostly used the word "Oneness" to describe what to me is a real sense of nondual existence, a real sense of connectedness. Interbeing speaks to that experience, in an even bigger way, including all life.

As I began this blog entry, I looked for, and found, an image to use. I was surprised to discover that I had used this same image, this same Dalai Lama quote, in a relationship article written almost 20 years ago!

That article, Jumping from Judgment to Love, also quoted Mother Theresa: "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

So am I just repeating myself, not having fully learned this amazing lesson yet? Well, yes, that might certainly be true. I accept it as true.

But what I'm excited about right now is the inner sense of the difference this different phrasing creates. 

"No judgment" is a reminder to drop judgment. I experience it as a pull back, something that actually stops me from being judgmental on the inside (which usually keeps it from being expressed on the outside!)

Compassion and Interbeing is diffrent kind of reminder. It stimulates an outgoing energy flow. I feel myself literally entering into that Oneness with whomever/whatever sparked the mantra... even if it's my own self. 

I feel the same outgoing energy flow when I remember to tell Richard he's perfect, as I desribed long ago in my article.

Compassion and Interbeing is the experience of LOVE, expanded to include, yes, ALL LIFE. It's an outflow, that starts from within.

I hereby invite this reminder/mantra to surround and fill me for a long time, maybe forever, if needed, since I seem to be a slow learner.

Or perhaps it will simply merge into the one word, LOVE, which is always behind and beyond "no judgment"... and... no separation. Oneness. Interbeing.

Rekindling the Spark -- July 3, 2025

 

To celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary on July 3, Richard and I presented a seminar for senior couples, called "Rekindling the Spark!" We co-facilitated it with Gary Uremovich & Viveca Yoshikawa. What fun!

Dhyana (What's in a name?)

 

“What's in a name?” asked Juliet, bemoaning the family feud (between the Montagues and the Capulets) that prevented her from having a loving relationship with her Romeo.

Names label and identify us. We are named at birth. Some people (mostly men) stay with that same name, or a shortened version of it, throughout their entire life. Women often change theirs, usually due to marriage, and sometimes more than once.

Names are sometimes chosen, or given, for various reasons.

I began my name journey as Diane Weinberg. When I was six years old, for reasons unknown, my parents offered to give me a middle name. I chose Susan (quite popular in my first grade class!) Surprisingly, my birth certificate was re-issued to include it. I continued as Diane Susan Weinberg until I married at age 39.

I recall one period when I wrote my name in all lower case letters..  diane s. weinberg.. (influenced by poet e.e. cummings.) I suppose that counts as a chapter in my journey. And I often used, simply, dsw.

As my marriage approached, I explored the options – keep my “maiden” name, take my husband-to-be's last name, combine our names, or create an entirely new last name for both of us. (Yes, that’s a choice some couples make. Didn't appeal to us.)

While Richard and I were discussing these possibilities, my mom took me to a fancy stationary store to order printed thank you notes to be used after the bridal shower my aunts were throwing for me. “Don’t order too many,” she said with a proud wink, “since you won’t be ‘Diane Weinberg’ much longer!” When I replied that I wasn’t sure if I was going to change my name, she said (not surprisingly, if you knew my mom)..”What? You’re telling me this, now, here, in a public place, where I can’t react and scream?!”) LOL. I calmed her down, emphasizing that I just hadn’t decided yet.

I did like the idea of us having the same last name. Thing was, I didn’t like saying “Diane Daffner” out loud. Try it, maybe you’ll hear what I mean. Going directly from the “n” sound at the end of my first name, to the “d” sound at the beginning of Richard’s last name, felt nasal and uncomfortable.

Hyphenating our names? Not a good idea. Weinberg-Daffner?  Daff-Wein? Ugh.

It somehow occurred to me that if I changed my first name to Diana, it would flow better with Daffner. As the wedding date drew closer, I began to think that maybe I was being silly. A colleague who was into numerology offered to analyze my history of names,. After doing so, she declared that my “numbers” were best if I chose to use Diana instead of Diane! All right, then, that was it. I decided to become Diana Daffner. And I no longer used a middle name.

…

Over the years, I’ve acquired what some might call “spiritual” names. At birth, my given Hebrew name is דִּינָה (pronounced Deena.) When I went to college, I considered, for a minute anyway, using “Dina” as my name in the new environment. That didn’t happen. I continued as Diane.

 As a flute player, often at Native American-style events, I acquired the name “Spirit Wind.” And later, “She Who Dances with the Universe!” After that, “Laughing Goddess.” So at ceremonies, you might hear me introduce myself as “Diana Spirit Wind, Dances with the Universe, Laughing Goddess!” I do not recall the specific moments when those names came to be. I do recall a sense of knowing that we sometimes need time to grow into names that come to us!

…

And now, I have begun (sometimes) spelling my name differently. Dhyana. Again, I do not recall when this spelling came to me. I do know that in the early 90’s, Richard was considering construction of an office building and day spa on Siesta Key. Since I had had a career as a massage therapist and teacher, it was natural for me to be in charge of naming this part of our projected business. I chose the name Spa Dhyana. Alas, this real estate project never materialized.

In Sanskrit, Dhyana refers to meditation. Specifically, I’ve read, it is the highest form of meditation in which there can still be a “meditator.”

Recently, this spelling has arisen for me more and more. Several years ago, I obtained an email address and a domain name, announcing that “Dhyana Is Here.” (DhyanaIsHere.com takes you to this blog!)

What’s in a name? 
My Aikido and meditation teacher, Robert Nadeau, learned from HIS teacher, Morihei Uyeshiba, that it is helpful to give names to the various versions of oneself. Nadeau calls these different selves or personalities “characters” and it’s usually a linear progression in terms of the “size” or spaciousness or consciousness of each character. We can intentionally develop and name more upgraded "characters."  In his case, there’s Bobby, Robert, Nadeau, Sensei (teacher). If he shifts from Sensei back to being little Bobby, he has none of the skills or wisdom of the Sensei character.  Sometimes a character is altered in order to align better with the current situation it finds itself in.

I sense that Dhyana is a higher-energy, more evolved version of me than my normal everyday character. While I’m not yet ready to fully embrace this spelling of my name, I am growing into it. When I think of myself as Dhyana, I’m more likely to be in touch with my deeper, authentic self, more in touch with what I am calling today, Source. My writing, my music, my communication feels more grounded, more open, less distracted by limiting thoughts or beliefs.

As for pronouncing it, Richard likes to say “D'-on-uh.” While I’m okay with that, I’m also okay with no change in pronunciation at all. I notice that I sometimes sign emails, and display my name on Zoom, as “Diana/Dhyana,” which for now feels oddly comfortable to me. 

So, what’s in a name? A lot!!! In my case, it’s been a life-time journey!

       First
   My name
   was Diane.
 Now Dhyana
   pushes me
    to claim
      Her.

       Once
       A girl
   Then woman
 And now elder.
      Dhyana
        is her
       Name.

In the comments, tell us about YOUR name journey!!

Some Little Poems

Below are a smattering of short poems I've written. Some are in a  7-line syllabic form called "Pyramid Poetry." (To know more, see Pyramid Poetry, described by Justin Stone, who founded the T'ai Chi Chih program I teach.)

WORDS 

Words wiggling inside of me, 

struggling (with a smile) 

to emerge. 

Like old friends, words feeling familiar, 

yet also open to shedding 

that familiarity 

and (re)appearing in 

new forms. 

 

... 

 

Open.  

I'm ready. 

What's coming? 

Unknown. 

What's to do? 

Nothing. 

 

... 

 

a sense of words waiting 

to erupt, to flow,  

to be transcribed  

from unclear sensations 

into well-formed consonants and vowels. 

 

... 

 

Moved to write, I see it's already been written! 

 

... 

      Here 

      I AM 

writing words 

That fill me up 

  Give me joy. 

    Each one 

     Sings! 

 

... 

 

    Words 

  Are fun 

 To welcome 

As they arrive 

  And settle 

    In their  

     Place 

 

... 

 

      Words 

       arise 

   and are lost 

   if not written 

   and preserved 

      forever 

        new 

 

.... 

 

Sometimes words flow easily 

mirroring the flow or glow of emotions 

within. 

 

... 

 

      Words 

    Coming 

     Arising  

   like tai chi chih 

      poetry 

     moving 

      chi 

 

 

Nature 

 

             Trees 

          Nourish  

         And uplift 

       With energy 

       That delights 

        And calms 

                Me 

 

             Full 

       The moon 

        Is tonight. 

     The flower moon 

      Burning bright, 

         Streaming 

            Light 

... 

 

       Moon 

     resting  

   in the sky 

Sensing dawn 

     it begins 

       to set 

        down 

 

 

JOY 

 

      God  

      Is in 

    My body 

    And also yours 

     Together 

      We are  

       God 

… 

 

       You 

    Are me, 

  Together 

We become One. 

   Together 

    WE ARE 

       ONE 

 

        You 

     Are me, 

    Together 

We become One. 

   Together 

       I AM 

       You. 

 

So much truth, coursing through my body, 

Faster than my mind can find the words 

Than my fingers can play the tune 

Faster than my brush can draw the shape. 

 

      That 

       Is it. 

     Or is it? 

Not really that. 

     Not really. 

      And yet, 

          Is. 

       

         Joy 

       Expands 

   The moment 

    Making it grow, 

         Elongate, 

       Spread out, 

            Shine. 

 

... 

 

        I 

 stand here 

Stand alone 

Never alone 

You are here 

    With me.  

     You. 

 

... 

 

     We 

  are here 

  all of us 

breathing life in 

    reaching out 

     always 

     ONE 

 

... 

              This 

            Is what 

        You get when 

      My love shines bright 

          And surrounds  

            Us all 

            Now. 

 

... 

                    Sad 

               Was here 

          And now gone 

         Where did it go? 

            Or perhaps 

                 it was 

                  Not. 

 

 

... 

       You  

      inspire 

    and pull forth 

     passionately 

    that which lives 

       within 

         us. 

 

... 

 

      What  

     is this 

  that fills me, 

   envelops me, 

    embraces 

   with love 

       still. 

 

MY BIRTHDAY 

 

5/10/24 

            This 

         moment, 

        this "today" 

     is my birth-day: 

         I arrived, 

           safely, 

            here. 

            

... 

 

        Birth 

     Each Day 

     As if new, 

 Grateful each time 

   morning comes, 

        with new 

           Life. 

 

       Work 

      Awaits 

  My attention 

   My time, my care 

     Not today. 

         Later. 

         Work. 

 

 

... 

          Mind 

        grabs on 

         to ideas 

     without substance 

          pretending 

            to be 

            real. 

 

... 

              Hope 

           Despair 

          Canceling 

       Each other out. 

         I choose not 

            Either 

              One 

 

... 

 

Today 

This face, 

My face, 

has a new line. 

Has aged. 

Cracked. 

No longer the smooth facade 

Of youth… 

At last. 

 

... 

           Dark 

     Thoughts came 

         Confusing  

    Made me cranky 

      Looked within. 

          Saw me. 

            Raw. 

 

 

... 

 

This Day 

 

I'm here 

Right now 

With no expectations. 

No future.. 

Except what is in my calendar! 

 

Will hunger drive me, move me toward my next now? 

 

Will it be hunger for food, for creative expression, for connection, for God? 

 

My calendar contains a road map I might follow.  

 

Or not. 

... 

                Here 

             and then 

           we were gone 

           only to return 

          now here again 

                happy 

                now 

 

... 

                 Fear 

             finds us 

            whenever  

             separation 

             causes us 

               to lose 

              breath. 

 

... 

                    Time  

                  will tell 

                 the secrets 

              we try to hide 

                and always 

                    reveal 

                    truth. 

 

... 

I smiled today. Even though the bombs still fall. 

 

I smiled today. Even though horrid things have happened. 

 

I smiled today. Even though. 

 

... 

 

Magic isn't always fireflies 

or dragons 

or a winning streak. 

 

Sometimes magic is like an invisible  

blanket  

wrapping me in its sweet folds. 

 

... 

Today 

maybe 

I'm a poet. 

At other times, I'm an artist, 

a musician, a wife, a lover, 

a bookkeeper. 

No longer a daughter. 

No longer lots of roles. 

Or maybe 

Just a change of clothes. 

 

... 

Adrift. 

Like an Autumn leaf 

floating, 

leaving, 

not yet arriving. 

... 

Sleep eludes me, 

Like a shy creature hovering nearby, remaining just out of reach. 

 

... 

 

Sometimes there are no words.