Rekindling the Spark -- July 3, 2025

 

To celebrate opur 40th wedding anniversary, Richard and I presented a seminar for senior couples, called "Rekindling the Spark!" July 3, 2:30-4 pm, at Unity of Sarasota. Details were at www.RekindleSeniorLove.com.

Dhyana (What's in a name?)

 

“What's in a name?” asked Juliet, bemoaning the family feud (between the Montagues and the Capulets) that prevented her from having a loving relationship with her Romeo.

Names label and identify us. We are named at birth. Some people (mostly men) stay with that same name, or a shortened version of it, throughout their entire life. Women often change theirs, usually due to marriage, and sometimes more than once.

Names are sometimes chosen, or given, for various reasons.

I began my name journey as Diane Weinberg. When I was six years old, for reasons unknown, my parents offered to give me a middle name. I chose Susan (quite popular in my first grade class!) Surprisingly, my birth certificate was re-issued to include it. I continued as Diane Susan Weinberg until I married at age 39.

I recall one period when I wrote my name in all lower case letters..  diane s. weinberg.. (influenced by poet e.e. cummings.) I suppose that counts as a chapter in my journey. And I often used, simply, dsw.

As my marriage approached, I explored the options – keep my “maiden” name, take my husband-to-be's last name, combine our names, or create an entirely new last name for both of us. (Yes, that’s a choice some couples make. Didn't appeal to us.)

While Richard and I were discussing these possibilities, my mom took me to a fancy stationary store to order printed thank you notes to be used after the bridal shower my aunts were throwing for me. “Don’t order too many,” she said with a proud wink, “since you won’t be ‘Diane Weinberg’ much longer!” When I replied that I wasn’t sure if I was going to change my name, she said (not surprisingly, if you knew my mom)..”What? You’re telling me this, now, here, in a public place, where I can’t react and scream?!”) LOL. I calmed her down, emphasizing that I just hadn’t decided yet.

I did like the idea of us having the same last name. Thing was, I didn’t like saying “Diane Daffner” out loud. Try it, maybe you’ll hear what I mean. Going directly from the “n” sound at the end of my first name, to the “d” sound at the beginning of Richard’s last name, felt nasal and uncomfortable.

Hyphenating our names? Not a good idea. Weinberg-Daffner?  Daff-Wein? Ugh.

It somehow occurred to me that if I changed my first name to Diana, it would flow better with Daffner. As the wedding date drew closer, I began to think that maybe I was being silly. A colleague who was into numerology offered to analyze my history of names,. After doing so, she declared that my “numbers” were best if I chose to use Diana instead of Diane! All right, then, that was it. I decided to become Diana Daffner. And I no longer used a middle name.

…

Over the years, I’ve acquired what some might call “spiritual” names. At birth, my given Hebrew name is דִּינָה (pronounced Deena.) When I went to college, I considered, for a minute anyway, using “Dina” as my name in the new environment. That didn’t happen. I continued as Diane.

 As a flute player, often at Native American-style events, I acquired the name “Spirit Wind.” And later, “She Who Dances with the Universe!” After that, “Laughing Goddess.” So at ceremonies, you might hear me introduce myself as “Diana Spirit Wind, Dances with the Universe, Laughing Goddess!” I do not recall the specific moments when those names came to be. I do recall a sense of knowing that we sometimes need time to grow into names that come to us!

…

And now, I have begun (sometimes) spelling my name differently. Dhyana. Again, I do not recall when this spelling came to me. I do know that in the early 90’s, Richard was considering construction of an office building and day spa on Siesta Key. Since I had had a career as a massage therapist and teacher, it was natural for me to be in charge of naming this part of our projected business. I chose the name Spa Dhyana. Alas, this real estate project never materialized.

In Sanskrit, Dhyana refers to meditation. Specifically, I’ve read, it is the highest form of meditation in which there can still be a “meditator.”

Recently, this spelling has arisen for me more and more. Several years ago, I obtained an email address and a domain name, announcing that “Dhyana Is Here.” (DhyanaIsHere.com takes you to this blog!)

What’s in a name? 
My Aikido and meditation teacher, Robert Nadeau, learned from HIS teacher, Morihei Uyeshiba, that it is helpful to give names to the various versions of oneself. Nadeau calls these different selves or personalities “characters” and it’s usually a linear progression in terms of the “size” or spaciousness or consciousness of each character. We can intentionally develop and name more upgraded "characters."  In his case, there’s Bobby, Robert, Nadeau, Sensei (teacher). If he shifts from Sensei back to being little Bobby, he has none of the skills or wisdom of the Sensei character.  Sometimes a character is altered in order to align better with the current situation it finds itself in.

I sense that Dhyana is a higher-energy, more evolved version of me than my normal everyday character. While I’m not yet ready to fully embrace this spelling of my name, I am growing into it. When I think of myself as Dhyana, I’m more likely to be in touch with my deeper, authentic self, more in touch with what I am calling today, Source. My writing, my music, my communication feels more grounded, more open, less distracted by limiting thoughts or beliefs.

As for pronouncing it, Richard likes to say “D'-on-uh.” While I’m okay with that, I’m also okay with no change in pronunciation at all. I notice that I sometimes sign emails, and display my name on Zoom, as “Diana/Dhyana,” which for now feels oddly comfortable to me. 

So, what’s in a name? A lot!!! In my case, it’s been a life-time journey!

       First
   My name
   was Diane.
 Now Dhyana
   pushes me
    to claim
      Her.

       Once
       A girl
   Then woman
 And now elder.
      Dhyana
        is her
       Name.

In the comments, tell us about YOUR name journey!!

Some Little Poems

Below are a smattering of short poems I've written. Some are in a  7-line syllabic form called "Pyramid Poetry." (To know more, see Pyramid Poetry, described by Justin Stone, who founded the T'ai Chi Chih program I teach.)

WORDS 

Words wiggling inside of me, 

struggling (with a smile) 

to emerge. 

Like old friends, words feeling familiar, 

yet also open to shedding 

that familiarity 

and (re)appearing in 

new forms. 

 

... 

 

Open.  

I'm ready. 

What's coming? 

Unknown. 

What's to do? 

Nothing. 

 

... 

 

a sense of words waiting 

to erupt, to flow,  

to be transcribed  

from unclear sensations 

into well-formed consonants and vowels. 

 

... 

 

Moved to write, I see it's already been written! 

 

... 

      Here 

      I AM 

writing words 

That fill me up 

  Give me joy. 

    Each one 

     Sings! 

 

... 

 

    Words 

  Are fun 

 To welcome 

As they arrive 

  And settle 

    In their  

     Place 

 

... 

 

      Words 

       arise 

   and are lost 

   if not written 

   and preserved 

      forever 

        new 

 

.... 

 

Sometimes words flow easily 

mirroring the flow or glow of emotions 

within. 

 

... 

 

      Words 

    Coming 

     Arising  

   like tai chi chih 

      poetry 

     moving 

      chi 

 

 

Nature 

 

             Trees 

          Nourish  

         And uplift 

       With energy 

       That delights 

        And calms 

                Me 

 

             Full 

       The moon 

        Is tonight. 

     The flower moon 

      Burning bright, 

         Streaming 

            Light 

... 

 

       Moon 

     resting  

   in the sky 

Sensing dawn 

     it begins 

       to set 

        down 

 

 

JOY 

 

      God  

      Is in 

    My body 

    And also yours 

     Together 

      We are  

       God 

… 

 

       You 

    Are me, 

  Together 

We become One. 

   Together 

    WE ARE 

       ONE 

 

        You 

     Are me, 

    Together 

We become One. 

   Together 

       I AM 

       You. 

 

So much truth, coursing through my body, 

Faster than my mind can find the words 

Than my fingers can play the tune 

Faster than my brush can draw the shape. 

 

      That 

       Is it. 

     Or is it? 

Not really that. 

     Not really. 

      And yet, 

          Is. 

       

         Joy 

       Expands 

   The moment 

    Making it grow, 

         Elongate, 

       Spread out, 

            Shine. 

 

... 

 

        I 

 stand here 

Stand alone 

Never alone 

You are here 

    With me.  

     You. 

 

... 

 

     We 

  are here 

  all of us 

breathing life in 

    reaching out 

     always 

     ONE 

 

... 

              This 

            Is what 

        You get when 

      My love shines bright 

          And surrounds  

            Us all 

            Now. 

 

... 

                    Sad 

               Was here 

          And now gone 

         Where did it go? 

            Or perhaps 

                 it was 

                  Not. 

 

 

... 

       You  

      inspire 

    and pull forth 

     passionately 

    that which lives 

       within 

         us. 

 

... 

 

      What  

     is this 

  that fills me, 

   envelops me, 

    embraces 

   with love 

       still. 

 

MY BIRTHDAY 

 

5/10/24 

            This 

         moment, 

        this "today" 

     is my birth-day: 

         I arrived, 

           safely, 

            here. 

            

... 

 

        Birth 

     Each Day 

     As if new, 

 Grateful each time 

   morning comes, 

        with new 

           Life. 

 

       Work 

      Awaits 

  My attention 

   My time, my care 

     Not today. 

         Later. 

         Work. 

 

 

... 

          Mind 

        grabs on 

         to ideas 

     without substance 

          pretending 

            to be 

            real. 

 

... 

              Hope 

           Despair 

          Canceling 

       Each other out. 

         I choose not 

            Either 

              One 

 

... 

 

Today 

This face, 

My face, 

has a new line. 

Has aged. 

Cracked. 

No longer the smooth facade 

Of youth… 

At last. 

 

... 

           Dark 

     Thoughts came 

         Confusing  

    Made me cranky 

      Looked within. 

          Saw me. 

            Raw. 

 

 

... 

 

This Day 

 

I'm here 

Right now 

With no expectations. 

No future.. 

Except what is in my calendar! 

 

Will hunger drive me, move me toward my next now? 

 

Will it be hunger for food, for creative expression, for connection, for God? 

 

My calendar contains a road map I might follow.  

 

Or not. 

... 

                Here 

             and then 

           we were gone 

           only to return 

          now here again 

                happy 

                now 

 

... 

                 Fear 

             finds us 

            whenever  

             separation 

             causes us 

               to lose 

              breath. 

 

... 

                    Time  

                  will tell 

                 the secrets 

              we try to hide 

                and always 

                    reveal 

                    truth. 

 

... 

I smiled today. Even though the bombs still fall. 

 

I smiled today. Even though horrid things have happened. 

 

I smiled today. Even though. 

 

... 

 

Magic isn't always fireflies 

or dragons 

or a winning streak. 

 

Sometimes magic is like an invisible  

blanket  

wrapping me in its sweet folds. 

 

... 

Today 

maybe 

I'm a poet. 

At other times, I'm an artist, 

a musician, a wife, a lover, 

a bookkeeper. 

No longer a daughter. 

No longer lots of roles. 

Or maybe 

Just a change of clothes. 

 

... 

Adrift. 

Like an Autumn leaf 

floating, 

leaving, 

not yet arriving. 

... 

Sleep eludes me, 

Like a shy creature hovering nearby, remaining just out of reach. 

 

... 

 

Sometimes there are no words.