To celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary, Richard and I are excited to be offering a seminar for senior couples, called "Rekindling the Spark!" July 3, 2:30-4 pm, at Unity of Sarasota. For details, go to www.RekindleSeniorLove.com.
Thursday, June 19, 2025
Thursday, July 4, 2024
Dhyana (What's in a name?)
“What's in a name?” asked Juliet, bemoaning the family feud (between the Montagues and the Capulets) that prevented her from having a loving relationship with her Romeo.
Names label and identify us. We are named at birth. Some people (mostly men) stay with that same name, or a shortened version of it, throughout their entire life. Women often change theirs, usually due to marriage, and sometimes more than once.
Names are sometimes chosen, or given, for various reasons.
I began my name journey as Diane Weinberg. When I was six years old, for reasons unknown, my parents offered to give me a middle name. I chose Susan (quite popular in my first grade class!) Surprisingly, my birth certificate was re-issued to include it. I continued as Diane Susan Weinberg until I married at age 39.
I recall one period when I wrote my name in all lower case letters.. diane s. weinberg.. (influenced by poet e.e. cummings.) I suppose that counts as a chapter in my journey. And I often used, simply, dsw.
As my marriage approached, I explored the options – keep my “maiden” name, take my husband-to-be's last name, combine our names, or create an entirely new last name for both of us. (Yes, that’s a choice some couples make. Didn't appeal to us.)
While Richard and I were discussing these possibilities, my mom took me to a fancy stationary store to order printed thank you notes to be used after the bridal shower my aunts were throwing for me. “Don’t order too many,” she said with a proud wink, “since you won’t be ‘Diane Weinberg’ much longer!” When I replied that I wasn’t sure if I was going to change my name, she said (not surprisingly, if you knew my mom)..”What? You’re telling me this, now, here, in a public place, where I can’t react and scream?!”) LOL. I calmed her down, emphasizing that I just hadn’t decided yet.
I did like the idea of us having the same last name. Thing was, I didn’t like saying “Diane Daffner” out loud. Try it, maybe you’ll hear what I mean. Going directly from the “n” sound at the end of my first name, to the “d” sound at the beginning of Richard’s last name, felt nasal and uncomfortable.
Hyphenating our names? Not a good idea. Weinberg-Daffner? Daff-Wein? Ugh.
It somehow occurred to me that if I changed my first name to Diana, it would flow better with Daffner. As the wedding date drew closer, I began to think that maybe I was being silly. A colleague who was into numerology offered to analyze my history of names,. After doing so, she declared that my “numbers” were best if I chose to use Diana instead of Diane! All right, then, that was it. I decided to become Diana Daffner. And I no longer used a middle name.
…
Over the years, I’ve acquired what some might call “spiritual” names. At birth, my given Hebrew name is דִּינָה (pronounced Deena.) When I went to college, I considered, for a minute anyway, using “Dina” as my name in the new environment. That didn’t happen. I continued as Diane.
As a flute player, often at Native American-style events, I acquired the name “Spirit Wind.” And later, “She Who Dances with the Universe!” After that, “Laughing Goddess.” So at ceremonies, you might hear me introduce myself as “Diana Spirit Wind, Dances with the Universe, Laughing Goddess!” I do not recall the specific moments when those names came to be. I do recall a sense of knowing that we sometimes need time to grow into names that come to us!
…
And now, I have begun (sometimes) spelling my name differently. Dhyana. Again, I do not recall when this spelling came to me. I do know that in the early 90’s, Richard was considering construction of an office building and day spa on Siesta Key. Since I had had a career as a massage therapist and teacher, it was natural for me to be in charge of naming this part of our projected business. I chose the name Spa Dhyana. Alas, this real estate project never materialized.
In Sanskrit, Dhyana refers to meditation. Specifically, I’ve read, it is the highest form of meditation in which there can still be a “meditator.”
Recently, this spelling has arisen for me more and more. Several years ago, I obtained an email address and a domain name, announcing that “Dhyana Is Here.” (DhyanaIsHere.com takes you to this blog!)
What’s in a name?
My Aikido and meditation teacher, Robert Nadeau, learned from HIS teacher, Morihei Uyeshiba, that it is helpful to give names to the various versions of oneself. Nadeau calls these different selves or personalities “characters” and it’s usually a linear progression in terms of the “size” or spaciousness or consciousness of each character. We can intentionally develop and name more upgraded "characters." In his case, there’s Bobby, Robert, Nadeau, Sensei (teacher). If he shifts from Sensei back to being little Bobby, he has none of the skills or wisdom of the Sensei character. Sometimes a character is altered in order to align better with the current situation it finds itself in.
I sense that Dhyana is a higher-energy, more evolved version of me than my normal everyday character. While I’m not yet ready to fully embrace this spelling of my name, I am growing into it. When I think of myself as Dhyana, I’m more likely to be in touch with my deeper, authentic self, more in touch with what I am calling today, Source. My writing, my music, my communication feels more grounded, more open, less distracted by limiting thoughts or beliefs.
As for pronouncing it, Richard likes to say “D'-on-uh.” While I’m okay with that, I’m also okay with no change in pronunciation at all. I notice that I sometimes sign emails, and display my name on Zoom, as “Diana/Dhyana,” which for now feels oddly comfortable to me.
So, what’s in a name? A lot!!! In my case, it’s been a life-time journey!
First
My name
was Diane.
Now Dhyana
pushes me
to claim
Her.
Once
A girl
Then woman
And now elder.
Dhyana
is her
Name.
In the comments, tell us about YOUR name journey!!
Some Little Poems
Below are a smattering of short poems I've written. Some are in a 7-line syllabic form called "Pyramid Poetry." (To know more, see Pyramid Poetry, described by Justin Stone, who founded the T'ai Chi Chih program I teach.)
WORDS
Words wiggling inside of me,
struggling (with a smile)
to emerge.
Like old friends, words feeling familiar,
yet also open to shedding
that familiarity
and (re)appearing in
new forms.
...
Open.
I'm ready.
What's coming?
Unknown.
What's to do?
Nothing.
...
a sense of words waiting
to erupt, to flow,
to be transcribed
from unclear sensations
into well-formed consonants and vowels.
...
Moved to write, I see it's already been written!
...
Here
I AM
writing words
That fill me up
Give me joy.
Each one
Sings!
...
Words
Are fun
To welcome
As they arrive
And settle
In their
Place
...
Words
arise
and are lost
if not written
and preserved
forever
new
....
Sometimes words flow easily
mirroring the flow or glow of emotions
within.
...
Words
Coming
Arising
like tai chi chih
poetry
moving
chi
Nature
Trees
Nourish
And uplift
With energy
That delights
And calms
Me
Full
The moon
Is tonight.
The flower moon
Burning bright,
Streaming
Light
...
Moon
resting
in the sky
Sensing dawn
it begins
to set
down
JOY
God
Is in
My body
And also yours
Together
We are
God
…
You
Are me,
Together
We become One.
Together
WE ARE
ONE
You
Are me,
Together
We become One.
Together
I AM
You.
So much truth, coursing through my body,
Faster than my mind can find the words
Than my fingers can play the tune
Faster than my brush can draw the shape.
That
Is it.
Or is it?
Not really that.
Not really.
And yet,
Is.
Joy
Expands
The moment
Making it grow,
Elongate,
Spread out,
Shine.
...
I
stand here
Stand alone
Never alone
You are here
With me.
You.
...
We
are here
all of us
breathing life in
reaching out
always
ONE
...
This
Is what
You get when
My love shines bright
And surrounds
Us all
Now.
...
Sad
Was here
And now gone
Where did it go?
Or perhaps
it was
Not.
...
You
inspire
and pull forth
passionately
that which lives
within
us.
...
What
is this
that fills me,
envelops me,
embraces
with love
still.
MY BIRTHDAY
5/10/24
This
moment,
this "today"
is my birth-day:
I arrived,
safely,
here.
...
Birth
Each Day
As if new,
Grateful each time
morning comes,
with new
Life.
Work
Awaits
My attention
My time, my care
Not today.
Later.
Work.
...
Mind
grabs on
to ideas
without substance
pretending
to be
real.
...
Hope
Despair
Canceling
Each other out.
I choose not
Either
One
...
Today
This face,
My face,
has a new line.
Has aged.
Cracked.
No longer the smooth facade
Of youth…
At last.
...
Dark
Thoughts came
Confusing
Made me cranky
Looked within.
Saw me.
Raw.
...
This Day
I'm here
Right now
With no expectations.
No future..
Except what is in my calendar!
Will hunger drive me, move me toward my next now?
Will it be hunger for food, for creative expression, for connection, for God?
My calendar contains a road map I might follow.
Or not.
...
Here
and then
we were gone
only to return
now here again
happy
now
...
Fear
finds us
whenever
separation
causes us
to lose
breath.
...
Time
will tell
the secrets
we try to hide
and always
reveal
truth.
...
I smiled today. Even though the bombs still fall.
I smiled today. Even though horrid things have happened.
I smiled today. Even though.
...
Magic isn't always fireflies
or dragons
or a winning streak.
Sometimes magic is like an invisible
blanket
wrapping me in its sweet folds.
...
Today
maybe
I'm a poet.
At other times, I'm an artist,
a musician, a wife, a lover,
a bookkeeper.
No longer a daughter.
No longer lots of roles.
Or maybe
Just a change of clothes.
...
Adrift.
Like an Autumn leaf
floating,
leaving,
not yet arriving.
...
Sleep eludes me,
Like a shy creature hovering nearby, remaining just out of reach.
...
Sometimes there are no words.
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