Saturday, August 18, 2012

Thursday, August 9, 2012

We, Oui!




Daily Practice of Love

You might think from the "We,Oui" title - and this iconic photo - that I am going to discuss a workshop in Paris. (I'm not, but check out our Intimacy Retreat in ITALY next year!)

No, I chose the title because it expresses how I feel each morning, as Richard and I join together in our daily practice of love. Oui, oui ~ Yes, yes! We - the two of us, joined in love, experiencing such happiness in that moment that we want it to last forever. Like lovers in Paris. We, Oui!

Pragmatic relationship counselors often try to normalize the idea that over time, a relationship loses its romantic feeling, that it's natural for that to happen. Well, yes, lots of things change as we move from our 20's into our 30's, 30's into 40's, etc. Change is inevitable. Look at our bodies! We know that exercise and eating nutritiously are necessary to keep ourselves healthy and trim. If we do nothing to stimulate our bodies into shape, they will indeed slip out of shape. 

Similarly if we do nothing to keep our romantic relationship in shape, it, too, will slip out of shape and become a fading memory. However, this so-called "normal" waning of romance is reversible if we attend to activities and attitudes that can keep it in shape.

A romantic relationship depends on the emotional bond you share with your partner. It's not just flowers and bling, and it's not just sex (tantric or otherwise), and it's not just sharing a home together. It's about the connection you share, the energy of your love, your "we-ness."

Like our bodies, a vibrant and rewarding sense of connection with a partner can keep its shape with proper attention. Touch, for example, encourages a necessary hormonal response for bonding.

Try this: Ask your partner to join you, for the next 7 days, for at least ten minutes a day, in some romantic touching activity. Not sure what to do? Try massaging, hugging, "Peaceful Passion" or any other way of sharing a loving connection through your body, your skin, your hands, your hearts. Be sexy, sexual and/or sensual. TEN MINUTES? That's less time than you spend trying to end a phone call with someone you don't even want to be talking to!Surely your relationship is worth the time?

Be sure to let me know how this daily practice of love affects the shape of your relationship!

Need more ideas? Check out our book: Tantric Sex for Busy Couples and/or use our Lessons in Intimacy CD.

For upcoming dates & locations of Intimacy Retreats, visit www.IntimacyRetreats.com/schedule.htm